Week 24- commencement and a true test

well, it’s 3:15am Saturday night, or I guess it’s really Sunday morning.  My final exam for the last 24 weeks is happening right now.  My mom had a heart attack Saturday afternoon.  We will be residing at the local hospital for the next three days at least.  Her EKG looks incredibly normal, but her lab work shows increasing cardiac enzymes, so a ‘cardiac event’ has occurred.

The MasterKeys were with me every step of the way.  Not saying that I was not scared while driving her to the ER.  Mom refused an ambulance, too much fuss and trouble, don’t cha know!  Breathing, detaching, visualizing the traffics light to work with me, etc.  I have no doubt a few hospital staffers had some whispers about me while I was alone in the consultation room.  They separated me from Mom right away.  A very long 45 minutes ensued, so I made myself big everything I got scared or started shaking.  I paced, I chanted being whole, perfect, strong… My mom is whole, perfect strong, powerful … In a Nanosecond of grinning, picturing myself and betting no one ever stood in that room and put their arms up and out and said things out loud over and over.  Briefly wondered if they had a camera in the room.  Felt like the whole getting to the hospital and all the bits of not knowing and having to wait what feels like forever for each next step, is going so much smoother due to what I now know from all of you and this ‘class’.

i had planned on blogging about yet another ah-ha moment along the lines of just because you are outraged doesn’t mean you are right.  It was about pushing against other’s ideas.  One very big option for training midwives is going away this year.  I decided to do something about that.  This was a sign, to do the thing I said I would do the day I became a midwife.  Told myself it was a great time to take advantage of a business opportunity, that this was being handed to me on a platter.  Caught myself talking about another topic and admitting that the idea of the item was more enticing than the actual day to day operation.  This triggered the ‘uh-oh’ of this big business opportunity.  Was I taking this on to push against , be right, show them all, instead of feeling like I was doing my life’s dream.  Am still sitting with it, but I kinda already know, something else will have to flow my way, to up the ante, after the realization that I was probably just pushing back, not deciding for myself. I had hoped to edit and improve this bit, but it was not to be so.

I have no idea if I will be free to attend class tomorrow.  Know that I will be there in spirit and thanking each and every one of you for providing me with the tremendous base to work from and thrive in my life.  Love and Light to you all.  It’s been an honor.  Vivify your life.

Week 23 – Who Are You Choosing to Emulate?

Listening to the 20 points video by Hill.

Two things really leapt out at me- who are choosing to emulate?  Who are your mentors, who do you look up to, who do you say or think, ” I want to be just like ____ when I grow up”?  Who are you striving to be?  No place for striving for mediocrity, a common goal for most.  Can you say why you want to ‘be like’ the people you emulate or admire?  What steps are you taking to achieve the parts you like?  We know that saying you are going to do it is not enough, small consistent steps work in this task as well.

The other one that made my shoulders drop and rewind the video-  Be grateful that you have been given complete control over your own mind.  Wow, oh wow.

I know everything we have done is about this, but one sentence, a gratitude and so powerful and so the key to everything.  What a waste to contemplate the things that no longer serve us, or never did.  Quick, name three new thoughts you thought today?  How much of what we think are thoughts we have already thought?  Already thought over and over?  Are t hose thoughts geared to your PMA, your major purpose of life? Or even easier, do the thoughts you are thinking make you happy, do they cement your relationship to whatever you define as your higher power?  If not, no need to think those thoughts now or ever again. Wow.  Be happy first, find effortlessness, address your relationship and go forward in Light, Love and Success!

Week 22A-Aware of the Silence as I Have So Little of It This Week!

Well, have been in the marketplace so much since this task was presented.  Have been teaching, sharing and connecting with amazing people. High vibrations are at play for sure.  Some of the reactions of other people in the market place, finding my enthusiasm funny or embarrassing… made me realize a few things. The big thing was this-

if you are not happy with yourself, or with your life, the only thing you can attract to yourself is whatever you are carrying, fighting or complaining about.  You can only have more of the same served up to you as the Laws work all the time. having people think I was so funny made me see that in those moments, I was happy and attracting more ‘happy’, more ‘enthusiasm’, more of the good stuff that I want more of!  It made me see for a few seconds into the life of the person that was pointing, that they don’t know how to ‘get happy, or excited’. The idea of approaching your day wholeheartedly had not crossed their radar recently or maybe ever.  I saw so many of the barriers that keep us in the comfort zone SO apparent with so many groups of people I interacted with and in the eye of the public, these last two busy weeks.  When stocking up and preparing for the next day, I wondered just how their sales were going? Made me think about how any action taken from a place of fear, doubt, lack or waffling in general, is always counterproductive.  Like gravity, the Laws are always doing exactly what they do.  Love and Light to you all.  Embrace yourself, embrace what you have wholeheartedly.  If for some reason this does not make your day, it sure will make someone else’s day!

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Week 22–No Silence Exercise This Week For Me!

Am attending a breastfeeding workshop this week thru Saturday–so LOTS of talking, teaching, sharing and expanding.  Will have to have my long silence next week, or when I lose my voice. (taking lots of essential oils and hot tea to keep my vocal cords and throat in a happy place)

Two things have leapt out at me to date this week-My Every Thought Is Attracting Its Vibrational Essence, on purpose or by default.   Whether you are thinking about wanted things or unwanted things, you are still sending out a “request” to attract more things like the subject of your thought.  That is pretty clear and terrifying that when I am having an internal dialog that is a rampage or re-hashing things that I wish had gone differently (even tho I know yesterday is gone and nothing can be done to change it….)  Manifesting by default gives me pause.  Have spent more time this week stopping the physical activity and happen to do doing when I catch myself thinking things I  don’t really want.  Re-playing that old, tired, useless tape; knowing know that physical postures and body positions are attached to thoughts and mental activity…. since I haven’t figured out how to have a brick fall on my head every time I think a negative thought, or one that is not part of my dharma, this will have to do and is a place to start to change what my thoughts are creating. (if only I could stay in my Sit all the time!)

I have spent the last three days with a friend and amazing woman that makes jewelry with beads and stones.  I picked up a bracelet today that has Pyrite as part of the design–that lesson on one of the other blogs about Empaths made me look up the properties of Pyrite—-pretty amazing for what we are all doing, and no wonder I felt I NEEDED this bracelet for myself!

Legendary Uses and Meaning of Pyrite

Introduction to the Meaning and Uses of Pyrite

Pyrite is often called “Fool’s Gold,” though there is nothing foolish about this mineral. Within its gleaming beauty is a stone of hidden fire, one that can be sparked to life by striking it against metal or stone. An Earth element, it also resonates with Fire energy, symbolizing the warmth and lasting presence of the sun and the ability to generate wealth by one’s own power. It is masculine in nature, a stone of action, vitality and will, and taps into one’s abilities and potential, stimulating the flow of ideas. It brings confidence and the persistence to carry things through to completion. [Eason, 180][Megemont, 150][Melody, 498][Simmons, 314-315][Ahsian, 315]

As a talisman, Pyrite is a unique protector, drawing energy from the Earth through the physical body and into the aura creating a defensive shield against negative energies, environmental pollutants, emotional attack and physical harm. It also supports one with a spirit of boldness and assertive action when protecting others, the planet, or in standing up for important issues of community. It stimulates the Second and Third Chakras, enhancing will power and the ability to see behind facades to what is real. [Melody, 497][Hall, 149][Simmons, 315][Ahsian, 315]

Pyrite guards against ongoing control, criticism and manipulation by a partner, parent or employer, lending the power to resist without becoming angry or upset, changing the balance of power. [Eason, 180]

A piece of Pyrite in the home or workplace energizes the area around it and imparts an immediate increase in vitality. It overcomes intellectual fatigue due to overwork and tiredness of the nervous system by stimulating blood flow to the brain, increasing mental clarity, focus and recall. [Hall, 149][Simmons, 314][Megemont, 151][Melody, 498]

Pyrite inspires creativity in art, mathematics, science, architecture and many disciplines, especially those that recognize the inherent perfection and harmonious symmetry of nature and the universe. It stirs the qualities of ambition, commitment and perseverance, and is an ideal stone for students. [Simmons, 315][Melody, 498]

In the workplace, Pyrite encourages leadership qualities and is an ally for managers and those working toward promotion. [Eason, 180]

Pyrite enhances the protective and assertive male energies in both men and women. It boosts women’s self-worth and helps overcome tendencies toward servitude and inferiority. For men, it instills a feeling of confidence in one’s masculinity and supports the enthusiastic expression of male eroticism. [Simmons, 315][Hall, 150]

Pyrite Healing Therapies – Overview

 

Pyrite Physical Healing Energy

Pyrite supports the ideal of perfect health and well-being, drawing on universal energies to activate the nourishing energies of the body. In healing it often gets fast results, and can be beneficial in cases where no resolution seems possible. It is known for bringing out the cause of diseases for examination, and is helpful in getting to the root of karmic and psychosomatic dis-ease. [Melody, 498][Hall, 150][Megemont, 151][Gienger, 72]

This mineral shields the body from environmental pollutants, as well as contagious diseases. It may be useful in fighting colds, flu and other viruses, skin diseases and fungal infections, and may be beneficial in treatments for highly infectious diseases. It has also been used to lessen fever and reduce inflammation, and is an excellent stone of protection for caregivers and medical workers. [Melody, 498][Eason, 180][Ahsian, 315]

Pyrite increases oxygen supply to the blood and strengthens the respiratory and circulatory systems. It is beneficial to the lungs, helping to alleviate asthma and bronchitis, and may be used in treating blood disorders. It assists in treatments of the bones, both in structure and cell formation, and helps prevent and repair DNA damage. [Melody, 498][Hall, 150][Eason, 180]

Pyrite also stimulates proper endocrine function and is excellent for combating male impotence and infertility. [Ahsian, 315]

Pyrite Emotional Healing Energy

Pyrite is a crystal of positive energy, and is extremely helpful for melancholy and thoughts fixed on misfortune and despair. It relieves anxiety and frustration, and as a mirror to the self, reveals the causes behind these emotions and promotes a search for solutions. Pyrite also allows one to see beyond pretense, to what truly lies behind words and actions. It provides the insight that often things that disturb us in others are also present in us. [Hall, 150][Gienger, 72-73]       

Pyrite’s energy is empowering to the spirit, encouraging one to overcome fears and take action. It increases one’s will to accomplish whatever tasks one sets out to do, and can be used to bring one out of one’s shell, becoming more dynamic and confident. [Simmons, 315][Ahsian, 315]

Pyrite Chakra Healing and Balancing Energy

Pyrite is particularly stimulating to the Third, or Solar Plexus Chakra, the energy distribution center and the chakra of relationships. This chakra is located between the ribcage and navel, and controls the immune and digestive systems. When balanced physically, we have strength to fight infections, are free of allergic reactions, and are able to use the nutrients we ingest. When the Solar Plexus is out of balance spiritually, we feel fear – of the disappointment or displeasure of others, or to subordinating our life and pleasures to the will of others. Spiritually, when the solar plexus is in balance we are free to interpret the world through our own thoughts and emotions and not live in fear of violating the dictums of others.

Golden Pyrite also identifies with the Sacral Chakra, or Second Chakra, located below the naval and above the pubic bone at the front of the pelvis. It controls the flow of energy and is the center of gravity of the body. It is the center of the Life Force of the body, and controls the flow of information from the body to the mind and from the mind to the body. Gut feelings, intuition, and other “non-linear” communication comes from this chakra. When it is out of balance the symptoms manifest themselves as confusion, over dependency on others, repression of feelings, inability to feel joy, fear of sensuality or sex, and frustration. When the Sacral Chakra is in balance one has grace, feels pleasure in life, and experiences the flexibility to “go with the flow” and do so in good spirit.

Pyrite Spiritual Energy

Pyrite is an excellent stone of manifestation, allowing one to draw high-frequency energy into the physical body and utilizing it to take action in creating abundance for one’s life. Its frequency stimulates the creative flow of ideas and concepts, and helps one embrace their innate abilities and potential. [Ahsian, 315][Hall, 149]

 

Pyrite Color Energy

Pyrite reflects the energy of Gold, bringing success, enthusiasm, happiness, and power. It is traditionally the color of kings, riches, and the sun. Gold touches a deep part of our minds, conjuring up images of mystical places and adventure. Light Gold crystals provide us with the simple pleasures of life – cheerfulness and contentment. Dark Gold crystals have a deeper, more pronounced sense of devotion and commitment, providing us with a mature enthusiasm and ability to share a lifelong commitment of care and love.

Holding a Pyrite in each hand during meditation can bring an instant rebalancing and refreshing burst of energy. It is also ideal for ending a meditation to bring the energy fully into the physical realm. [Simmons, 315][Ahsian, 315]

Ok, long bit about this mineral.  I say it covers so much of what we have been doing and working towards!! This one bracelet on a table with hundreds of bracelets was the one that I had to pick up.  Could not believe how I felt holding it and found I was holding my breath as I read about the properties held within this mineral and gift of the earth!  So, Pyrite for everyone and I will follow up if anything ‘fantasical’, new and different happens during my Sits with this as part of the habit!  Love, Light and Relationship Priorities to you all!

 

Week Twenty- Gotta go, so this will be short

We have two women in early labor and a two day conference that starts tomorrow  morning.  I have been charged with taking over the conference, so will not be writing a long blog.

I have noticed that when I ask my self what the next step is for the person I intend to become-the answer is big, the vision is big.  It’s a bit scary. At first, then I recall the first classes, fear and exhilaration are the same hormones.  It’s Ok, be a bit scared, but look at the vision anyway, look at the parts that feel scary, smaller bites, or maybe that isn’t the real vision of what needs to happen next.  It’s an opportunity to look at it all, visualize all the parts, be sure and then GO.

So you can laugh and be happy-a tiny bit of insight of what I do…  and in 7 minutes he hits all the ‘stay in your comfort zone’ issues while you are laughing.

Off to pack the car and get organized for the conference tomorrow!  Be Happy.

Week Nineteen- A Little Shift, Big Changes

Made a big decision today and said it out loud to another person.  Nothing in writing yet.  Within less than one hour, three potential opportunities, opportunities that would never have shown up on an index card.  Now, this does not mean that all three opportunities are so fantastic a person could not decide, but, wow.

Being scared enough to just do it knowing there would be some ‘stuff’ to deal with after the fact.  The ‘stuff’ was something I could imagine prior to, or as part of, this decision.  The opportunities currently presenting could not have ever been in the pre-decision never-ending thinking of trying to come up with a plan and possible outcomes.

Heady stuff.  Only one potential opportunity is near a beach. All three have a few trade offs, more homework for me to do, but what a difference to be thinking about how I want to research these things, instead of ‘gotta’ get these things done and off the ‘to-do’ list.  Maybe some of this is flowing because I finally found the ‘live this day as if it was your last’ less triggering two days ago, I can read it now without feeling like I want to argue with it!

Really LOVE the two youtube videos–have had to watch them a few more times.  Stop moving the goal posts nearly knocked me out of my chair–have lived a whole life and have boxes of licenses and certificates to prove it.  Now if you will excuse me, I have to get some maps out to take a look at where I might be going.  Be Happy First, all things will conspire to support you when you do.

Week Eighteen-Obits, OneMoreDay, WWFSD?

Well, nothing clears the beach like a thunderstorm! Overcast and wet.  At least the high winds have laid.  That feeling of having to go home has settled over us.  Another vote or indicator that I want to figure out how to have more days feel like vacation with occasional work completed in between fun, relaxation and contentment.

So, the obit exercise. Seems like some really noteworthy people have dies this week.  Being in Florida, the obit page is long.  Am going to stick my neck out here and admit I don’t like doing this.  Have spent some time examining the resistance I feel about this. The only way I can consider this question is to change it to having one more day in your prime.  Tacking on one more day at the end may or may not be such a gift. Apparently, I have witnessed too many deaths where the person is willing to release their physical bodies and their loved ones from the demanding burden of watching a loved one die.  During my ruminations about this, I found some sort of connection to a scarcity mentality, a ‘hurry up and get it figured out and do it right’ kind of thing. Suspect this is really about helping us focus on what is important.  I can tell you if I only had one day left, I would not be working.  Not sure what that says about me either.

This led to some old cement and a tack we are all dealing with, not being good enough as I am.  That I should be doing something, or all things much differently. And I refuse to hold that as a truth for myself any longer.  I received quite a few birthday wishes this week, and most of them made me cry and smile.  To read them, I sound like an amazing person.  How others view me and what I have given to those that I know is outstanding and does not reflect my usual internal dialog. How can anything make me feel less than? Only the things I tell myself.

Have some relief in that being happy is the priority. THAT seems attainable with persistence and recognizing old patterns that prevent happiness.  Find the question of what would your future self do next? A great exercise for getting out of old internal dialogs and setting up ton of variations that probably would never have been considered.  Had a dear friend and colleague have some events this week that knocked her for a loop.  I was so glad she felt she could call me to vent, debrief and find some balance.  Heard how unkind her internal dialog was about herself and her reactions.  Hmm, the universe makes you repeat stuff until you get it figured out….. Anyway, this lead to a realization that maybe we are not here to prevent anything, it all unfolds as it should and we can only act and react based on what our own priorities, fears, talents and beliefs allow us to handle the emergency, confrontation or, gasp, having fun, being happy, figuring out I am just fine.  Would my future self sweat this? No, she would smile and say I was on the right track, relax and enjoy the process.  It’s in the bag. Just be happy.

Week Eighteen- What ARE We Trying Not To Know?

Feels like a continuation of last weeks questions and still working on the answers.  While I thought about how to integrate living my life while working on the things that matter to me, I have had the realization I really don’t know what play, or doing something just for fun really looks like!  Have huge old cement that goofing off equal being a slacker, by not doing the next thing on the to-do list, I’m just that much more behind….

Andrei, one of my MKMMA buddies, offered setting a timer for 15 min twice a day for doing my online responsibilities while away on vacation.  Am pondering how to set a time for how much work I will, or am willing to do, each day.  Can the work I do now be compartmentalized so I do have a stopping point(since I will never be done, why not decide to assign x number of hours per day to work ) and this will create time to do creative things, think new thoughts, solve old problems because I have the opportunity to step away.  This all sounds fab, as I sit on vacation.  Can I use the habits we have formed in the last 18 weeks to hold myself to this idea, this experiment?  No plan survives execution, but no forward motion can happen without a plan.

Something else has surfaced with the powerful, kinda overwhelming question posed this week, what are we trying so hard to act like we don’t really already know?  This almost knocked me back to week one.  Made me realize I must be carrying a whole bunch of stuff that is not mine to carry.  And I just might be tired enough from carrying it to put it down and walk away.  These exhilarating and uncomfortable thoughts led me to this one-liner; (yes, we may need T-shirts) We are all the leading edge of infinite potential.  Exhilarating and a tiny bit scary, like stepping off the edge of a cliff!

off to the movies, will start practicing playing right away!

Week Seventeen-Ups and Downs, But is This What Relaxed Feels Like?

I seemed to not have left the momentary writer’s block when faced with my weekly blog.  Everyone’s kind, thoughtful and funny replys are making that a shorter and shorter moment.

At the beach, hearing the persistent, constant sound and ever-present power of the ocean as I type.  Vacation, and all that word conjures is happening.  Harder to keep a thread of thought, or problem-solving internal dialog going.  Feels like lots of dis-jointed thoughts and observations are being presented.  Lots of good conversations about all my opportunities, options, pros and cons, new points of view, etc.    Suspect I am doing little and long Sits all the time, watching the water allows for some of the best dis-engaging of my brain ever!  Abundance is everywhere, being shown to me in great clarity.  Is this what everyday could look and feel like if I could figure out how to leave behind the constant demand of my attention on things that no longer have anything to teach me?  And how does one decide that one thread in your life has run it’s course?  Mary Spicer may have afforded me the very key for me to answer this with satisfaction and peace of mind.  Keep Listening.  The moment I read that comment, I felt like this is what has been happening, that I have been pushing to have answers ‘right away’ and that may not be how these big questions for me unfold. I remind myself that it’s in the bag, to relax, the answers I seek are on their way to me right now.  Have had an email exchange today that verified I am more tuned in than I allow myself to believe.  To me, it seemed so simple, something I do everyday, and do for those I know as well as folks I don’t know (easier), only to learn it provided relief and joy.  So happy to have provided these things, would be thrilled to provide these things daily.

Having the freedom to decide what I want to do each day has made me ask this-what are you doing to return yourself to your natural state of well-being?  Well-being is the natural state for each and everyone of us.  What are we doing to experience well-being each day and not compartmentalizing it ‘during vacation’, or when we get to the weekend?  We have a lot of wired and fired history of getting a big project done and start living after the project is completed.  How do we decide to live WHILE we are working on our long-term projects?  That seems like a major key to tap into.    Maybe #27 is niggling me to think these things, purpose sets causes in motion which go out in the invisible world and find the material necessary to serve your purpose.

While we are all greeting the world with love, I am challenging myself to greet the world whole-heartedly and no more ‘waiting’ til I get the next thing done.

Week Sixteen–Maybe There’s Something To All This?

Went to bed last night thinking I didn’t have anything profound to report, was very much still in last week’s cycle of, ‘wait, where’s the floor, did I slip into a parallel universe”, but breathing and detaching and mumbling that this is really just an opportunity.  Attempting to double check any unconscious universal pleas or requests I might have sent out that would come packaged like this?

Well, received a call today.  I talk with the person on a regular basis. I had no idea this person had the talent and skill set I was introduced to today. The OPPORTUNITY arrived during this call.  I had mentioned a few ideas last week, really did think that these ‘problem-solving’ ideas fell on deaf ears, ya know, stony ground.  Turns out the perfect person heard what I mentioned.  What I was picturing and thinking might be a chance to explore other avenues of how to expand what we are doing, to allow some desire and vision into the day to day duties–this person took the concept and ran with it.  Had an hour long convo of great solutions, things that would never have been possible with out this disrupting piece happening first.  And some of it seems impossible, but we did the math, we looked at this from as many angles as we could think about, I remembered  the last DC class–the Go For No premise, so we tried to poke holes in what we ‘saw’, how could this back fire, etc ( I don’t really know the whole premise behind the goforno.com program–I just heard her voice and the idea of going at this forward, backward, do the opposite and see if the ideas hold up)

Big enthusiasm today, big boulders off my shoulders tonight, the idea that this can be an experiment–nothing we have envisioned is written in stone, if it turns out we didn’t think of all the things that could backfire, we can always go back to what we are doing now-which works but in not in harmony, so it is the hard way to accomplish our goals.

Someone mentioned last Sunday about struggling with defining persisting vs letting go of what we no longer need.   I am right there with ya!  Twenty-four hours ago I would have bet the farm I needed to walk away, I could not see a way of making what was in place at that time in harmony and mutually beneficial for all parties.  All the ‘one more step’ business from Scroll III might be right! (oh no!) I can say this new plan opens the door for expansion instead of implosion, collapse and/or feeling trapped.  I’m not saying there might not be an explosion or two, but it will be from trying new things, figuring out how to adjust the trajectory so we can all work in our passion and integrity and enjoy everyone’s journey instead of just get through each day.